from by Despairwolf

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Bound and drowned
Sinking to depths of self-isolation
Forced to conform
Resisting a cultural indoctrination
Bound and drowned
Under weight of mal(e)xpectations*
Doomed to repeat
Mistakes of the father in my past

Cry in times alone we die.
Fight to prove we are cruel inside

Bound and drowned
Sinking to depths of self-hatred
Forced to conform
Or suffer the scorn of ostracization
Bound and drowned
Under weight of mal(e)xpectations*
Cursed to repeat
The patterns we claim to despise

We sing hymns of innocence lost
While their hands smother our hearts
Years spent lashing at bystanders’ gaze
Tear the mask off a tortured boy’s face

Forgiving myself for once in my life
A malice I held no longer inside.

*Mal: Latin prefix for bad. Male expectations: The conditioned ways a patriarchal society teaches us we are supposed to behave in order to protect the system of gender-normative oppression in order to effectively reify and reinforce the dominant norms of society. Mal(e)xpectaions: A recognition of the toxic nature of patriarchal masculinity or any binary or rigid gendered norms that tell you there is only one correct way to be a man (and that links it to power and domination over other gender expressions).


from NYX, released October 20, 2019


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Despairwolf New York

dark • noisy af • hc punk
Antifascist Forever and Always

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